Wednesday, July 13, 2011

When your plate gets too full...

The other day I was told by someone, "You know Angie, this is way too much for you to handle.  You aren't going to be able to do all of this."  I was very angered by this comment.  I thought to myself, "Really?  Thanks for all of the support."  Then I thought of this quote: 

When the world says, "Give up", HOPE whispers, "Give it one more try!"
-Uthor Unknown

So, I had to remind myself that I am in charge of my life and I get to decide when I can't "handle" something.  I wasn't always good at knowing when enough was enough for me and knowing when my body just couldn't take any more.  I am getting better...I had to learn that it was ok for me to say, "No" to people because there are times that I just can't put anymore on my plate.  I have also learned to ask for help (which is NOT easy for me).  I am the kind of person that wants to do a good job--to the point of perfection...with work, with homework, with parenting, keeping my home neat and in order etc. 

For me this meant:
1. I didn't leave work until all of tha paperwork was off of my desk and I had everything completed accurately
2. I had to sit down every night and do homework til midnight
3. I couldn't miss ANY of my kids' events (sports, concerts, award programs etc.)
4. I had to come home every night and clean my house to my CRAZY standards

Because I did all of this...I would drive myself crazy and be way more busy than I actually had to be.  I would work myself up to the point of getting completely stressed out and getting sick if I hadn't put in enough time or had things to perfection.  This is something I worked on in took a while...and I am still working...I look at it as a 'work in progress.'  I have come to understand and realize that I have to set priorities and not everything has to be perfect all the time. 

 So, now this means:
1.  I make a list at work of deadlines and complete projects in that order.  I make sure I have everything completed that HAS to be done that day...not everything on my desk.
2.  I know I don't have to work on homework every single day.  I have realized that I can get everything done if I work on it 4 nights each week instead of 7.
3.  I'm not a horrible parent if I can't make it to every single event of my kids'.  However, either my husband or one of my parents has to be at the event to take pictures for me :)  
4.  My family, work, and school are my priorities right coming in way in front of the other two.  And, because of this...I will never be inside cleaning instead of outside playing with my boys ( I used to do this).  If my house doesn't smell, we have clean clothes, and their aren't ants and flies swarming all around...I am good to go!!

These are changes that I had to make in order for me to be a good mom, a good employer, and a good student.  I CAN'T do everything and that's really hard for me to admit.  However, because I know what I can and can't handle, when to take a break, and when to ask for help...I know I am a lot stronger than when I had to do it all myself.   
So, don't let others tell you that you can't handle it...instead, take time to set priorities and understand when you are getting too full and that you can't put anymore on your plate...

Angie Rudningen

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