Thursday, October 20, 2011

i am sorry...but, I?

so sometimes i like to close my eyes and type. 
just see what the angels throw my way.
take a deep breath and and give my thoughts away to something "bigger" than me. 
i think there is an actual "loo loo" terminology for this, but since i have my eyes closed i can't google it as i typically would.
HA! :) 

so here we go. 
what is it that my deep breath and surrender of thought will lead me to.

how about saying we are sorry. 
let's talk about that. 
better yet - here is the definition.


 [sor-ee, sawr-ee]
adjective, -ri·er, -ri·est.feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.: to besorry to leave one's friends; to be sorry for a remark; to besorry for someone in trouble.regrettable or deplorable; unfortunate; tragic: a sorrysituation; to come to a sorry end.

sorry is my fix it word. 
how about you?
i have spent my entire life apologizing.

for who i was...and who i WANTED to be.
for who i am, and who i am NOT.
for what i HAVE said, and what i have NOT said.
for what i HAVE done, and more and more THESE DAYS for what i have NOT done.
sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

it's kinda getting old. 
i will admit.
i'm kinda tired of saying i am sorry.

i just am....sorry.

 see, cause here is the deal. 
i have these beautiful friends who have always said to me....
no sorries.

gosh - that was SO HARD for me to get at first. 
no apologizing for being stupid?!?!?
no apologizing for crying, for being inappropriate, for saying stupid things? 
no apologizing for  making myself the FOCAL point of the evening after my second....ok... maybe third glass of wine? 

no sorries.
what a strange way to have a relationship.
to NOT say i am sorry for my shortcomings.
that is just what I DO.

sorry seemed necessary. to put my heart at ease.


...that is the root of apologizing.
it takes you to a  place of forgiveness.
a place that you can FORGIVE YOU.
we say we are sorry to other people so that WE can FEEL BETTER...
simply for being ourselves.
go figure. 

i think oprah calls this an "A-HA moment" 

sometimes...we apologize FOR ourselves to HELP ourselves.
probably MOST of the time...sorry could be termed as a "fix it, cover it up, i said it" - perhaps even self serving word.
who would have ever thought? 

what i DO know is sorry has always made me feel instantly better after showing my spunk.
say it, get it out there, and then apologize.
is that NECESSARY? 
why do we feel the need apologize for speaking our mind after we have SPOKEN it?
i am starting to think that is just plain stupid. 
...and i for one am nearly over it.

here is a slightly new perspective.

...and of course it is in the grey sort of area that i always fall.

nope, i don't agree.
there are moments, there are times. 
sorry is necessary.
to heal.

there are just CERTAIN times that a simple sorry serves a purpose.
i am sorry i did not validate your feelings.
i am sorry that i HURT you.
i am sorry i was selfish.
i am sorry that you have lost something or someone so near and dear.
SORRY is a very healing and valid option.

on the flip side.

NEVER apologize for how you feel and sharing that.
NEVER apologize for your talents, your compassion, your desire, your SIMPLE and INNOCENT shortcomings.
NEVER apologize for your beliefs, your sorrows, your talents, your love.
NEVER apologize for trying to help, or sharing your insight, or insightful opinions.
PEOPLE need to be secure enough in themselves to handle WHO you are.

IF YOU are kind and considerate and loving in your UNIQUENESS there is no need to apologize for your feelings, your intentions, or your innocence.
YOU are YOU.

so there you have it. 
a post about being sorry.
take it or leave it.
but don't be sorry either way!
surprising....i had no intention of going there.
but i guess my angels did. 

...and for that - there are no apologies. 


p.s. gotta LOVE the appropriateness of ELTON JOHN for this post....sorry - couldn't HELP IT!
{there i go again}

HAPPY WEEKEND, everyone!
ENJOY with no apologies!


  1. I know exactly how you are feeling here. I am always saying I am sorry. Especially to friends. My personality has always been kinda blunt and to the point, a real honest, tell you how it is person. I am always apologizing for saying things or speaking the truth before thinking about whats coming out. But I have really come to the peace that I shouldn't have to apologize for who I am. Friends should love you for WHO YOU ARE not what they want you to be. And those friends that still stick by my side are the true friends after all. <3

  2. Angela, I just love that your Angels guided you to have this a-ha moment! Your free spirit is so beautifully shining through this my sweet friend! I am celebrating with you and sending you lots of LOVE and hugs... Eva

  3. I'm glad that you re-thought the "no sorries" philosophy that you blogged about a while ago. I agree that you shouldn't constantly apologize, but it IS appropriate sometimes. And a heartfelt apology helps to heal both parties..... By the way,I love the green used as your background. Not very important in the grand scheme, but I love color!

  4. Great post Ang!! I think I'm too much of a sorry person.. so for me it was helpful to read this and have a good think :)

  5. Oh my gosh, put a tear in my eye. I'm a sorry person for sure... gives me some food for thought. Thank you SO MUCH!