Friday, February 3, 2012

The (Beautiful) Sound of Silence

I have been wanting to get more involved with Wings of hope for a long time.  I think that the organization promotes a lot of inspiration.  Anyways, our one and only, Sara said I could start by blogging if I was interested.  I will give it a shot, but promise it will be my last if there is no need to go further.  Here goes nothing ;)

            Most days driving in my car, I get a chance to sing out my emotions.  This morning I tried but was unsatisfied with the songs played by the radio stations and my CD player.  I didn’t get the chance, but was craving the song, “Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel. I find reason for every type of music that helps me display my deepest thoughts and feelings, but have an even deeper connection with Simon & Garfunkel. I was informally introduced to them by my now deceased twin brother Mitchell Callenius Tokach. Mitch loved the band so when I hear their music it makes me think of him.

 A little disappointed I didn’t physically hear the song I was craving; I got to the school parking lot, turned the key to turn off my engine, and sat.


The lyrics came inside my head as I sang them within myself, “Hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again; because a vision softly creeping, left it’s seeds while I was sleeping, and the vision that was planted in my brain still remains within the sound of silence.”

As the lyrics crept inside my head my attention splattered priceless movements of Mitchell memories through my brain.  First I saw his ravishing smile, then his hairy chest, his broken crooked pinky finger, his crazy horse hair with a tilted hat, his smoky colored white sox with blue jean shorts.  I envisioned him reaching his arms out to me for a big “Mitchell bear hug.”  He had the biggest smile of happiness without any worry glued to his face.  I began to have a reminiscing memory party with myself.  I saw him side by side with my high school sweetheart at one of my dance line competitions.  I saw him with a miller light can in his hand ready to take on a Saturday night.  I saw him dancing with his new angel friend Adam.  I remembered Last December I asked those boys for some help and my soul busted with appreciation of direction from angels above.          

I was distracted by a cold, damp tear that ever so slightly fell below my lower eyelid.  After a deep breath in, I released my air and took a peek at the clock and figured I should get into the library so I could study for my test.  Ten minutes.  All I took was ten minutes of silence out of my morning and got to see my unforgettable Twin brother and then some.  A sign of recognition that I have angels on my side, and I feel blessed God gave me the gift of Mitchell.

Deep breath and on with my day I entered the library. As I was studying for my test, I came across a nonverbal therapeutic communication technique that can be very effective.  It offers some time after the sender provides information for the receiver to interpret and organize the message before reply.  The technique used was silence.  It is hard in our world sometimes because the sender has a chance of slight anxiety from the receiver not replying right away, but I think silence could be a better way to relay a message when: we are unsure of what someone is talking about, a topic is hard to talk about, or we feel a need to reply back in rage.  In return silence can help us reply back the correct words to help us get our point across, silence can help us have empathy towards a hurting friend, and silence can help us avoid hurtful words towards one another.

Weather your faced with daily life that seems to go by so fast you can’t even remember what day it is ~or~ your faced with a difficult conversation, maybe you want to try soaking in some Silence.  You might not like what comes to your mind, and if you don’t, you have a choice to cover and hide those thoughts again or deal with them so they don’t someday hit you like a ton of bricks.  You might enjoy every second the silence brings you.  If all your ducks are in a row, simply take time in silence to be thankful for the great blessings you have been delivered.  You don’t have to be grieving for silence to help you.  That was just my example, but I have also used silence to have a sense of being.  Sometimes life can feel like it’s the “same stuff different day” and I as a human crave the satisfaction of acceptance, life worth, and a string of “everything will be o.k.”  Taking even ten minutes out of your day to have silence to help you actually take a breath and reflect may help you realize you are good.  You are beautiful.  Life is messy, but it yours.  Own it.  Be not afraid of the fears your silence may make you encounter.  Embrace whatever message the silence delivers.

Take time for yourself: Take time for your silence.

“Silence like a cancer grows, hear the words that I might teach you, and take my arms that I might reach you, but my words, like silent raindrops fall, and echo in the wells of silence”


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