Thursday, September 22, 2011

less Expect more Accept.

"Expect nothing and accept everything and you will never be disappointed" ~Laurence Overmire

Sorry Mr. Overmire but I have a need to talk about your quote. Hmm...remove the expecting add the accepting and disappointments should stay at bay. Do they? Maybe if you don't know any different... like if you lived in a poverty stricken country with no access to the outside world. No way of knowing that there is a different way of life. Or would they too have a way of comparing their life to another... one hut with three children could surely see a difference in the way they live vs. the hut next to them who only has two children.

I must say, I don’t agree with this quote if it was intended as an approach to life. I'm not familiar with Laurence Overmire's work but maybe he meant this quote as one of those says that points out the impossible. It's impossible to expect NOTHING, impossible to accept EVERYTHING therefore it's impossible to NEVER be disappointed. That's how I read it.

This quote gives me an even deeper feeling that I don't like. It reminds me a lot about my childhood and my view of how my brothers and I grew up. When a kid has very little to rely on, very little to lean on and faces daily life with the feeling of "would it really matter if I just disappeared," you DO end up approaching life with an "expect nothing and accept everything" viewpoint. See why I don't care for this quote?

I was the lucky one. I left at a very early age. Which was hard but it shaped my life. I was able to learn from the outside world that disappointments can be your learning blocks if you let them be. Disappointments are necessary to point out areas of life you can improve. They show you where you can do things better next time. They teach you what not to accept and what is alright to expect of yourself and others.

Learning to have high expectations for myself has taken me far but having too high of expectations for my family, friends and employees can be dreadful at times. Growing up with a lack of trust for others has formed my personality with some rough edges. This can be very hard on my husband, bless his heart for putting up with this side of me.

I have a very hard time with things being done just satisfactory and not perfect. I have a hard time with things moving slower then I approve or a big one with me, someone that doesn't follow through with a commitment they have made. I get annoyed quickly and if I see or feel things are being over looked I get an attitude of I can do anything and take it on myself. As you may be able to understand, these combinations have caused a few up roars in my life!

But like I said before "it's a work is progress". I was blessed with a wonderful husband and one thing I've embraced about marriage is it's like tossing a edgy stone in a river... it helps smoothes out the jagged parts. (I joke with Chris on if I'm the stone or the river.)

First thing I had to learn was that I COULD do things for myself... ok maybe I went a little bit extreme with this but it was necessary for my survival at an early age. Then I had to learn that there are people you can rely on... trust may not be something I hand out immediately but I think I have that built in as a survival tool and I'm ok with it. Now it's the work in progress stuff... finding the balance between expecting and accepting, what works for me and that it doesn't have to be the same for everyone. Which is part of what makes us so beautiful and unique.

Like my friend Babeth said "so many answers lie in the sweet simplicity of balance."

Our Prayer for this week: We thank You God for all the help You have given us in living our lives in balance, those people You have put in our lives who help us maintain our balance, and for being with us in our work, relaxation, and prayer. We ask you to show us the proper balance in each area of our lives, to keep us from overdoing anything, and properly caring for ourselves and those for whom we are responsible. Please guide us in our work, that our work may be the best we can do without overdoing it, and reflect well on Your glory. We ask You to help us balance our works that we will find them invigorating and meaningful. We pray this in Jesus’ name. ~Amen.


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