When your plate gets too full...

The other day I was told by someone, "You know Angie, this is way too much for you to handle.  You aren't going to be able to do all of this."  I was very angered by this comment.  I thought to myself, "Really?  Thanks for all of the support."  Then I thought of this quote: 

When the world says, "Give up", HOPE whispers, "Give it one more try!"
-Uthor Unknown

So, I had to remind myself that I am in charge of my life and I get to decide when I can't "handle" something.  I wasn't always good at knowing when enough was enough for me and knowing when my body just couldn't take any more.  I am getting better...I had to learn that it was ok for me to say, "No" to people because there are times that I just can't put anymore on my plate.  I have also learned to ask for help (which is NOT easy for me).  I am the kind of person that wants to do a good job--to the point of perfection...with work, with homework, with parenting, keeping my home neat and in order etc. 

For me this meant:
1. I didn't leave work until all of tha paperwork was off of my desk and I had everything completed accurately
2. I had to sit down every night and do homework til midnight
3. I couldn't miss ANY of my kids' events (sports, concerts, award programs etc.)
4. I had to come home every night and clean my house to my CRAZY standards

Because I did all of this...I would drive myself crazy and be way more busy than I actually had to be.  I would work myself up to the point of getting completely stressed out and getting sick if I hadn't put in enough time or had things to perfection.  This is something I worked on in counseling...it took a while...and I am still working...I look at it as a 'work in progress.'  I have come to understand and realize that I have to set priorities and not everything has to be perfect all the time. 

 So, now this means:
1.  I make a list at work of deadlines and complete projects in that order.  I make sure I have everything completed that HAS to be done that day...not everything on my desk.
2.  I know I don't have to work on homework every single day.  I have realized that I can get everything done if I work on it 4 nights each week instead of 7.
3.  I'm not a horrible parent if I can't make it to every single event of my kids'.  However, either my husband or one of my parents has to be at the event to take pictures for me :)  
4.  My family, work, and school are my priorities right now...family coming in way in front of the other two.  And, because of this...I will never be inside cleaning instead of outside playing with my boys ( I used to do this).  If my house doesn't smell, we have clean clothes, and their aren't ants and flies swarming all around...I am good to go!!

These are changes that I had to make in order for me to be a good mom, a good employer, and a good student.  I CAN'T do everything and that's really hard for me to admit.  However, because I know what I can and can't handle, when to take a break, and when to ask for help...I know I am a lot stronger than when I had to do it all myself.   
So, don't let others tell you that you can't handle it...instead, take time to set priorities and understand when you are getting too full and that you can't put anymore on your plate...

Angie Rudningen

How ARE you?

“How are you?” is such a simple question.  It is a question that most of us ask and answer every single day.  “How are you?” is rather reflexive for many of us.  We say it as a greeting, as a formality, as a habit.  And we usually answer this question simply and positively, giving a quick, “I’m good!” or a “fine, thanks”.  We say and hear “how are you” exchanges so many times a day that we often don’t realize how much we actually do ask and answer this question.  So much so, in fact, that we often do not pay attention to the answers, either. 

Think, for just a moment, about how many times you have heard that one little question today.  How many times have you asked “how are you”?  How was the question asked?  Was it a form of hello?  Just a quick exchange?  And how intentionally was it asked? 

Now, consider the responses you have given and received to that question.  Did you reply, “I’m good!”?  Did you hear, “Fine, thanks”?  Generally, we tend to say that we are doing well.  That things are going just fine.  We tend to keep it short.  We tend to keep it sweet.  And we tend to keep it surface-y and impersonal.  Quite often, we don’t listen closely to the answer of “how are you”.  And quite often, we do not expect to hear an answer that substantial or meaningful in any way.

So what would like it be like, then, if someone asked you, “how ARE you?”  How would you feel if someone took the time to investigate exactly how you are holding up?  How might you feel if someone expressed a genuine interest in your feelings, your well-being, the current events of your life?  What might you think if someone would not accept a “fine, thanks” for an answer?  If they insisted that you tell them more.  That you must have something to say, and they would like to hear more about it.

Have you ever been asked that different kind of “how are you”?  Have you ever been taken back by someone’s genuine concern for your well-being?  Has it ever caught you by surprise or touched you when someone took the time to ask about you?  And have you ever asked this sort of “how are you”?  Have you ever stopped to consider how someone is doing and taken the time to find out?  Have you ever asked someone how they were and truly cared about their answer, no matter what it might be?

I hope so.  I hope that you have both given and received this kind of question.  I hope that “how are you” has been asked in such a way that you could not give a patented “pretty good” answer.  I hope that you have also done the same for a friend.  I hope that you have taken part in this meaningful exchange because it implies that you are fortunate enough to have sincerity in your life.  That you have consideration, concern, and lovingkindness for one another.  This suggests that you and your loved ones are not so absorbed in yourselves that you forget about the well-being of others.  It demonstrates care, and that assumptions, formalities, and cover-ups are not being made.  That you have compassionate and thoughtful care for one another, that you feel invited and secure enough to talk about your experiences.  

Today, my beloved birds, ask “how are you?”  Seek out a real answer, and consider what you hear.  Take time to show your fellow birds how much you care, how much they are loved.  Venture out of your normal routine, and take the time to tell someone how you are.  Give them the chance to listen, to wrap you in their wings of lovingkindness.  Connect in this way, my songbirds, and I think you will be surprised with what you learn, what you say, and how you feel with this new kind of “how are you”.

 

Ellie Otteson

What's Up at WINGS.

I hope everyone is enjoying this hot summer weather. Summer has defiantly arrived!

We want to thank all of you for your support during the 4th of July festivities in Spicer. We had such a good time!

We are excited to participate in the New London Water Days Celebrations! Come to New London, MN and join in the parade, games and inflatables, street dance and fireworks. This year's theme is "Small Town Heroes...A Tribute to Our Military.

• July 21-25 in New London, MN.
• Grand Day Parade is July 23, 11am.
• For more information go to www.newlondonmn.net

Wings of Hope will be participating in the Grand Day Parade, watch for your opportunity to support us and our mission to reach out to our community. We appreciate your support!

Have a wonderful week!

~Stacy

"Hope is the dream of a soul awake" ~French Proverb.

what is "it".....

i posted this statement on my facebook page.

‎..."it" is a sweet, sweet blessing when the past starts to become the past. 

the pain fades...and life starts to become less of a blur. 

2 years of growth = 30 years of insight. 

i would say "it" REALLY is ALL worth "it"....100%. 

broken heart and all. 

moving to the next phase....a little bit stronger....

when you say "it" is all worth it....what exactly is "it"?

"it" is something different for each and every single one of us.

you have your very own "it" that makes life worth living. 

life worth coming back to.  

life worth holding on to NO MATTER WHAT.

here is the beautiful thing...

YOUR  very own "it" has brought you to the place you are. 
did you know that?

"it" can be and has been SO MANY things.

  

happy, sad, confusing, enlightening and EVERYTHING in between.

each "it" has a novel behind it. 

a meaning. 

a CHANCE for your SOUL to become all "it" can be.

"it" is something that adds to the very essence of our being.

each "it" is and was necessary.

no matter how crazy, or lost or confusing or exhilarating or heart wrenching "it" is at the time your are experiencing "it".

"it" is a gift.

straight from the heavens.

handed right to you at the very moment you need "it"

two little letters.
I.T.

who knew "it" was such a big deal?

HA!

well....

"it"

 is.
"it"

was.
AND

"it"

 always will be.

so go with "it"
don't sweat "it"
"it" is what "it" is....
SO....
make "it" yours.

be brave.

that is "it".

xoxo,

angela

"What Are We Working For?"

Success is Simple... do what's right, the right way, at the right time. Doesn't that sound uncomplicated?

But what if, what you think is right, the right way, the right time, is not how all people see things? Do you wait? Not start at all?

Wednesday, May 11, 2011 w/ Pastor Paul

Message: “What Are We Working For?”

What causes or helps us gain true success in life?
- When we work enthusiastically.
... Success then comes when we work with all our might.
- When we work with integrity (honestly).
... In our walk and work to become successful, not only do we work with all our might but we do so with a reputable result in all our labor.
- When we work skillfully.
... In other words, we are to be teachable in our endeavors throughout life. – Never come to the place where we feel we cannot learn something new.
- When we work efficiently (find time to work through significant and important things in life).
... Using wisdom and soundness in our procedures and practices in life constitutes success and brings successful conclusions even in the midst of weighty matters that will most definitely come our way.
- When we work cooperatively.
... Ecclesiastes 4:9‑10 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”
- When we work persistently.
... So, along with the excellent characteristics above (working enthusiastically, with integrity, skillfully, efficiently, and cooperatively) we are to work persistently, having a will and desire that won’t give up until the job or requirement is completed.

Here are three directional helps followed by three exercises for completion:
- Three ways to improve integrity...
... follow through
... show up
... admit mistakes
- Three things to help attach value to things...
... make a list
... set goals
... plan
- Three things to ask ourselves individually about working...
... Why are we working so hard?
... Is the pay off worth it?
... Why will it satisfy us?

For those interested in receiving Pastor Paul's messages, please e-mail Pastor Paul (pastorpaul@willmarag.org) and mention you would like to be included.

Success IS complicated. But if you do what's right, the right way, at the right time your hard work will reflect the feeling of success onto you. Success doesn't happen once in a lifetime rather it occurs over and over. Learn as you go and apply what you can. There is no such thing as perfect, keep that in mind and keep moving forward.

Our prayer for this week is Almighty God, Whose Hands hold all matters of life, give us grace of success in the work that we do. Help us to give it the careful thought and the strict attention that will lead to success. Watch over us and govern our actions, that we may not tarnish its perfection. Show us how to give our best, and let us not despise the labor that is necessary to complete it. Give us the blessing of Your help and guidance, and suffer us not to fail. In Jesus' name. ~Amen.

Sara Lester
Wings of Hope

Believe.

A belief, as defined by the dictionary, is the psychological state in which an individual holds a premise to be true.  To have beliefs, or a belief system, is very human.  Our beliefs, in part, help us conceptualize the world, and make sense of our experiences.  Beliefs may be based on evidence, personal values, and convictions.  They may stem from socialization, or they may be deeply personal.  A belief may be quite accurate as defined by reality, or it may be entirely untrue when measured by the same standard.  Beliefs stem from personal convictions, thought processes, and feelings, and they vary greatly from person to person.  Beliefs are not right or wrong, valid or invalid.  They are beliefs.  And they are deeply personal, and very valid and true to the person that deems them to be so. 

Take a moment, my birds, and reflect on your beliefs.  Do you tend to form your beliefs based on factual information, or are your beliefs more difficult to prove as “true”?  Do your beliefs stem for your background, upbringing, peers and society, or do you hold them contrary to popular belief?  Do your beliefs incorporate religion?  Spirituality?   Moral values?  Human nature?  Are they based on your perceptions, judgments, schemas, or experiences? How are your beliefs representative of your thoughts and feelings?

Think now, for just a moment, about how your beliefs serve you.  How much do you rely on your beliefs to guide you through this world?  How flexible or rigid is your belief system?  Do you compare them to those of others, or label beliefs as right or wrong, better or worse?  How well do you know and understand your beliefs?  How much consideration do you give to the beliefs of others?    

And finally, I would like you to consider what you believe to be true about yourself.

As you do this, perhaps you will become aware that your beliefs about yourself are secure, reassuring, positive and empowering.  That you are able to accomplish anything you choose to do.  That even while you have both strengths and limitations, you are a uniquely beautiful and  gifted individual.  You have worth.  You are valuable.  I hope that as you reflect on your beliefs about yourself, you feel self-love, self-awareness, and self-efficacy.

But what if you do not?  What if, when you reflect on your beliefs about who you are, you realize that your beliefs are quite limiting?  What if you believe that you are a lost cause?  That you are not good enough.  What if you believe that you cannot make a difference in this world, that you are dispensable?  What if you believe that you are faulted, or at fault, when things go wrong?  What if you believe that love is conditional, that you must fit a mold in order to be loved, accepted, cherished? 

What happens then, if you realize that you are harmed by your very belief systems?

If you come to the realization today that you are the victim of limiting beliefs, I will tell you that you are in luck.  You are luck, because you have the power to change those beliefs.  You are in luck because the first step to changing your core beliefs is to identify them.  You are in luck because you have made a self-discovery, you now have greater self-awareness, and you are now closer to making positive changes in your life.  If you have identified a belief that is not working for you, you are able to change it.  You are able to combat the negative self-talk, and replace it with positive dialogue.  And as you practice doing this, you will be able to shift your perspective, changing how you look at the world, and slowly but surely, changing your beliefs about yourself.  And once you are able to do this, you will instantly change your reality.

Today, my cherished birds, take a moment to examine your beliefs yourself and the world in which you live.  I hope you notice that these beliefs are positive and empowering.  But if any part of them is not, remind yourself that they do not have to stay this way.  Remind yourself today that while your beliefs do define your reality, you may change them.  You may do anything you so choose to do, whether you believe it or not.  You may change your reality by changing your beliefs. 

Spread your wings just a bit wider today, my birds, and challenge your beliefs.  Sing songs of praise to yourself today and cherish your beautiful individuality.  Revel in who you are, and believe that you do indeed hold the key to the life of your dreams.  Believe that you may fly, spread your wings, and soar.

 

 

 

Ellie Otteson

Wings of Hope

Seize the Day

"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers. The ones who see things differently- they're not fond of rules. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things ...They push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do." -Jack Kerouac

.....

…Last night, one of my dearest friends said to me, “Each day is a new opportunity to reinvent yourself.”

I love that.  I love the simple, yet bold truth in that statement.  Because each day truly is a new opportunity.  It is an opportunity to start anew.  To persevere.  To change.  To reinvent yourself.  To revolutionize your life.  To leave your mark on the world.

...How many times have you put something off until tomorrow?  How many times have you said you would start “later”?  And how many times have you postponed “later”, or not gotten around to whatever it was that you have been meaning to get around to?  Has there ever been a time where you said to yourself that you would make a change “once things settle down…” or “after I am through with this…”?  Has there ever been a time where you told yourself that you were too busy, too stressed, or spread out too thin to commit yourself to something meaningful?

If any of these statements sound familiar to you, you certainly are not alone.  Every one of us has procrastinated at some point.  Every one of us has felt that we have too much going on to take on something new.  And there are definitely times when these statements are valid.

But what about when we allow these statements, these beliefs about our selves and our lives, to prevent us from creating the life of our dreams?  What about when these statements are not the truth, but are instead excuses not to reinvent who we are? 

Take a moment and reflect on that thought.  Have you ever told yourself “not now” when you really meant “I’m scared”?  Have you ever failed to try because you were afraid to fail?  Have you ever impeded your own progress in life because the fear of the unknown, the uncertainty, the risk involved was just too daunting?  Have you ever fell into the trap of inactivity because you were overwhelmed by the work involved in pursuing your dreams?  Have you ever waited for things to improve rather than improving them yourself?  Have you ever settled for complacency when something better was calling your name? 

Have you ever considered that the only thing truly standing in your way is you?

...It is natural to feel scared, overwhelmed, and uncertain when we are faced with change.  It is natural to encounter obstacles, twists, turns, and difficult terrain in this journey called life.  It is natural to be faced with decisions, to take new directions.  Just as it is quite natural to change, evolve, and progress through life.       

So think now, for just a moment, about how exciting, how empowering it would feel to take matters into your own hands.  How confident, brave, and inspired you would feel as you took the road less traveled by.  Imagine the validation you would feel, the insight and knowledge you would gain, the experiences you would revel in as you pursued your dreams.  Imagine what your life would look like, just who you would be, if you took the opportunity presented by each new day to make a difference. 

My courageous birds, your day has come!  As the sun rises each morning, take the opportunity to spread your wings just a little bit wider.  Soar that much higher.  Wrap your wings around each day, seize it, and make it yours.  Open your heart and your mind to the possibility that each new day brings.  Reinvent yourself.  Create the life of your dreams.

 

Ellie Otteson

Wings of Hope